When the bush meat chase the hunter- Should a woman woo a man?

Most people have argued that there’s really nothing bad in a woman wooing a man and revealing her feelings. They came up with all sorts of arguments which basically dwell on saving her from late marriage and being trendy. Some ladies also see nothing wrong in this; according to one, “If I like a guy, I go for him. Life is basically too short for hiding feelings.” I used to think it’s all jokes until I saw a picture of a woman who proposed to her man. Na she kuku get her money to propose. But wait! Does it look right? I’ll rather let my man propose to me and make my proposal fantasy come to pass. That part of me proposing to him was never part of the fantasy. Well, that’s for me.

Away from my own belief, I spoke to about ten guys concerning this: I mean ten matured, responsible men not some under-aged or flirt who parade and view themselves as matured, and here is what they have to say about this:

“It’s really not a bad thing in the western world, but in Africa, our women tend to hold back because they don’t want to seen as cheap and most guys abuse such opportunity. Although most successful women go after men damning all consequences because most times men assume them to be snobbish and rude; there is really nothing bad in it, I just won’t like it when a woman comes directly at me. There are ways a lady can pass the message across without being too direct.”

“I’m indifferent about it.  If I like her too, I will start something meaningful, but If I’m not attracted, I’ll gently put her off and that is one of the reason why I’m a bit indifferent about it. Ladies don’t like rejection and if that happens, it may damp on her self-esteem.  If I’m attracted to a lady, I’ll go for her, she doesn’t even need to bother. If I’m not, I let her be; So if we’re in the same environment and I probably didn’t notice you, I’m definitely not interested. Easy? Yes!”

“Make sure it’s a mutual feeling, before you pass the message.”

“You may start with friendship and gradually work your way into him, being direct sometimes will make you look cheap and as a sharp guy, some may take advantage of that. Just make sure you employ the right tactics.”

“A lady asking a guy out is just as natural as a guy asking a girl out. It’s just that here in Africa we are bedevilled by tradition and culture; It’s discrimination and gender inequality if anyone sees anything wrong in a lady asking a guy out. The ladies also have a right to express their intentions and the way they feel.”

“I don’t see anything wrong but in Nigeria, a lot of peoples see such ladies as being desperate. If a lady ask me out, I would take her double serious because it took alot of nerve to do it. For the records, my wife asked me out and I am fine with it and I have never looked down on her nor take her love for granted.”

“I don’t see anything wrong in a woman wooing a man but it depends on the relationship between them prior to the approach which shouldn’t be too direct.”

“It is not a big deal, the guy only needs to be sure it’s for real and must not take advantage of it.”

“There is nothing wrong with that. In my own opinion, it must go through some simple, but sensible ‘phases’…….acquaint + friendzone +dating. This is to avoid being seen in a ‘bad light’. I can’t imagine any random girl I barely know (even if she’s Darego), coming to ask me out. I’ll politely talk some sense into her head.”

“I don’t like it. I wouldn’t trust her. I would feel she can do the same to any other man. Won’t respect that approach.”

“She can only position herself for the guy and not act as the man. There are ways to give him the green light.”

From Relationship counsellors:

“The Bible said he that findeth a man not she that findeth a husband. God would have created Eve first if that’s the case. There is a place of positioning but not wooing. The man has to do the search and the chasing. It makes them feel good. A man won’t respect such woman because she acted cheap and might turn to other ladies that would make him feel like a man. She should allow him do it”- Dorathy Ndidi (Adorable Oma) of Bruised but healed Ministry

From Adenike Adedokun of Relationship Capsules, she said:

“Our gender roles are different. A man feels confident when he can talk to a woman, get her attention and make her feel wholesome. He loves the chase and enjoys the game. He finds way of how to get closer and more romantic, this should be a continuous stage even In marriage but most men drop the vibe few years after the wedding bells.

Some would feel that a woman is being too forward about it. A man is meant to take lead roles in a relationship but a woman can create the environment. The man is the head of his wife so he has to pick what’s best for him. Women are created as help-meet, it’s always better when a man sight the need and propose to a woman.

Sometimes when a woman claims to be in love with a man, she would do all she can to make it work including proposing and most times, the man may feel pressured. A man must decide who he would end up with and hence, work towards getting the prize.

A gift is more pressured than a freebie. A gift is given by a special person while a freebie is given by anyone and it’s mostly cheap.

Let the hunter get you. Don’t be desperate. It might work for you though but please keep your pride for the man who values it.”

So, what do you think? Kindly make your comment on the box below and remember to share too, Eshey!.